I recently did an instagram post on our 30s...the forgotten decade. And I can't stop thinking about this. I am 36. And the deeper I get into this decade the more profound these years feel.
20s was hard for me (like it was for many of us!). We graduate college and enter the real world filled with so many pressures. These wild expectations of finding our dream job, the perfect partner, having a lavish wedding, buying a huge house and easily starting a family. Can we insert and LOL, please?! I want to know who started these expectations because they are unreachable and for a young woman I felt like without achieving not one or most but ALL of these, I was failing.
As the decade of 20s progressed, I got older and learned. The 20s wasn't about getting it all NOW. It was about learning what it is that we want, the hard work and determination it takes to get there, and that some of our hardest lessons of growth will be taught in these years.
20s can be filled with heartache, self discovery, BIG changes, letting go of our parents hands, maybe finding another hand to hold, crashing down and then learning how to get up ON OUR OWN.
I was lucky to find my life partner early in life and go through many of these challenges together. But that definitely didn't make it easier. We grew up together, experienced many challenges, were knocked down HARD several times but thankfully always found each others hand to get back up.
I will never forget my 30th birthday. I had planned a trip to Aruba because I wanted to turn 30 on a gorgeous beach with a tiny umbrella drink in my hand. Like somehow starting this decade in a beautiful place would guarantee goodness to find me. Its funny how we think, sometimes.
I sat on the plane and watched "Love and Basketball". And I cried. Like ugly hysterical cries the majority if the flight. The flight attendants probably thought someone died. Watching this movie took me back to those young years. Sitting with my mom in my childhood room watching movies on a Friday night. I always chose hanging out with my family above everything. That hasn't changed.
It took me back so clearly that I felt myself letting go of my parents hands. I was leaving the last decade that had the kid version of myself attached to it. It felt over. Almost felt like I was grieving. I was.
Little did I know that I was entering a very hard (in its own way) but the most beautiful (so far) of them all decade.
I let go of the kid-me and so much wanted to enter the mom version of me. While we had no idea the challenges or years it would take to make this happen. We were excited. Imagining what growing our family would look like and how fun it would be.
Now, fast forward to today. I am 36 years old married for almost 8 years with the 2 most precious sons I could have dreamed up. Our perfect miracle boys.
This decade has brought no less figuring out than the decade before. It is just different. For me it's figuring out how to launch a business, maintain my career in group fitness while being home raising our little men.
It's planning nightly dinners. Taking on never ending laundry. Lots of vacuuming. Constant sicknesses. Night wakings. Breastfeeding. Trying to find time as a couple.
The list goes on. But my number one will always be making memories for these children. Getting to relive my childhood through them, but better. So I think back to the hand holding. Yes, back in November 2017 I let go of my parents hands while I turned 30.
But when our first son was born I grabbed hold of his hand. And I have no plans to let go for a very long time.
Maybe it's the passing of the hands. The hands you hold onto may change. But they are the hands you need in that moment to get you through those challenges that your current decade is facing. It is meant to change. Sometimes we grieve the change. But it's always leading us to something new on the horizon.
To be continued...
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